Sleep aid?

 Spring, the season of renewal and the transition from the snowy, frigid temperatures of winter to the sunny skies of Summer. All winter long people look forward to Spring and it’s promise of warmer temperatures and blue skies. Everything is blooming including budding spring romances. What is there to not like about Spring?

I hate Spring.
Hate is probably too strong of a word but Spring is definitely not my favorite season. I think Negative Nancy has arrived:

It’s May and April showers have come and are apparently overstaying their welcome into the flower month.

Getting greener

Rain. What's good about it? Oh sure all you lovers of Spring claim the rain and thunderstorms are romantic or poetic...

But let's get real. Not only does it mess up your hair, unless you’re one of those people that always looks good with tousled, rain drenched hair (in which case, don’t let my ranting disturb you from finding a fan, a spray on tan and a spread in the next Vogue magazine), but it also gives you soggy socks. No one likes soggy socks.
End of Spring Rant.

The arrival of Spring has also renewed my urge to get a pet and it doesn't help that the people of Madison love their dogs. I've wanted a dog for months if not years. I would be such a great dog owner! However, with my current living situation (you know... cozy?) and for that matter, my current employment status, getting a dog would be irresponsible if not bridging on animal cruelty. 

So I started researching what kind of animals would fit into a 240 sq ft apartment. At first the results seemed pretty slim with suggestions of fish, hamsters, ferrets, and potbelly pig, all of which sounded pretty smelly and well... kind of gross. Until I came across the Sugar Glider.


The Sugar glider is an exotic pet that might seem ideal for small apartments. It's fuzzy, cute, odorless and it can fly. I was so excited! Finally after years of waiting I was finally going to get a cute, fuzzy, little animal! I eagerly started researching my new precious pet.


My excitement soon turned to dismay and ended with repulsion as I stumbled across a website that listed all the drawbacks to being a Sugar Glider owner. "How could this adorable animal possibly have any drawbacks?" I naively thought to myself as I skimmed the extensive list. Soon, I was sitting in shocked disbelief. I looked the animal up on youtube trying to find anything to discredit these horrible findings.

Stop looking so innocent

Unfortunately, video after video listed all the same poor character traits. Let me try to briefly summarize. Sugar Gliders are noisy animals that love to bark, hiss and will often use their cages to make as much racket as possible. Oh yeah, they're also nocturnal animals and they plan on you being one also. Moving on to their biting habits. Since Sugar Gliders are exotic wild animals, in their natural habitat they peel the bark off trees which makes your fingers child's play to their razor sharp teeth. They are known biters and often a cause for stitches. Appalled and disappointed? I'm not finished yet.

Sugar Gliders cannot be litter or cage trained. Since they also love to climb and mark their territory, you should cover everything near it's cage because it will most likely urinate on it. It is common for the animal to relieve itself while it's eating, outside the cage or even while you're holding it. Also, much like a monkey, when it's bored or angry it is known for throwing it's food or it's own waste outside of the cage. 

oh not in the drinking cup...

Needless to say, I will not be getting a Sugar Glider. I guess I'll just stick with plants for now.

Brown? damn