I got a brand-new, full-time, fancy-schmancy, grown up job. And since my lease is coming due in the near future, I've decided it's time to get a bigger place. As quaint as the last year and a half has been, 240 sq ft is not the most practical to have friends over or to do my Sweatin' to the 80s video. I've been searching the web and driving around looking for a new place to live. While I'm making more money than I ever have, my close friends Sally Mae and Señior Private Loan are keeping me in a choke hold.   

Always have a safe word. {via}

 So it'll probably be another studio apartment but a little more spacious this time. Maybe 400 sq ft. In the meantime here are some weird things that have been happening:

Springtime. Birds are chirping. Flowers are blooming. Finding a bug in my apartment. A big one.
Troubling: Approaching the bug and thinking, "You're going to need a bigger shoe."

"Nevermind, the apartment's all yours." {via}

Looking for a bigger apartment.
Troubling: 1. Hoping that cute looking apartment I just drove by is crappy enough on the inside that I can afford it.
2. Hoping that crappy apartment that I can afford is nice enough on the inside that I don't get some kind of fungal foot disease.

Two of my favorite things: lip gloss and strong coffee.
Troubling: Picking out a spring shade of gloss with a nice sales lady and realizing I have a big ol' coffee ground stuck in my front teeth.

Teeth, they prefer tea. Makes sense. (Want to know more about teeth? Click here.)

Spending the last few weeks searching for a new apartment. Coming home to my "cozy" studio one evening and my key doesn't work.
Troubling: Realizing my apartment is never going to let me leave.
Troubling#2: And it's not going to let me have my stuff back.

Or it's just being haunted by Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis. {via}

Not having any idea of where I'm going to live next year, but knowing it won't be here.
Troubling: Feeling a little bit sad about it.

It's almost October and while Halloween is over a month away, creepy things are happening in Madison.

Heard singing outside my window on a Tuesday night.
Troubling: I thought I was having an "In your eyes" Lloyd/Diane moment.
Troubling#2: Feeling crestfallen when I realized it was just my drunken neighbors having a karaoke patio party.

Love is: an unforgettable boombox serenade. {via}

Still being completely grossed out by Silence of the Lambs.
Troubling: Finding this in an antique mall.

Midnight on a Friday. New neighbors are having a party. It's loud.
Rant: New freshman class of UW, if you're going to listen to 70s rock, know it don't blow it. AND it's not cute to loudly group sing Bad Romance, that retched Barbie song or anything by ABBA. And please. If you're going to keep me up when I work at 7am, I prefer if you didn't act like you were an extra on a Disney sitcom. I want to hear name calling, trashy fights, a colorful array of bad choices and the next morning, I want to see someone passed out near my car. I was not only tired the next day, but disappointed.

Having a bad day.
Troubling: That frown is turned upside down just by hearing Hall and Oates on the radio.

Another week. This time, a little less nudity and a little more bizarre.

Walking to yoga class.
Troubling: Seeing a stuff tiger perched outside someones window (We'll come back to this...)

I wish it was still cheeky to say, "Hide your kids, hide your wife..." (but that's so 2010)

Finishing up an evening shift. An attractive man approaches.
Troubling: He asks where the Preparation H is located.

Going to the mall
Troubling: Going to the mall.
Troubling #2: Justin Bieber behind a perfume counter.
Troubling #3: People that walk around the mall with their bicycle helmets. Still attached (This isn't Garden State. And you're not a cute, Natalie Portman, pathological liar, pretending to have seizures. Remove the helmets).

Faces blurred because I'm not completely dead on the inside.

A 30-something couple cruising through town in a bright green, top down, Jeep wrangler.
Troubling: Spotting the 3-foot-tall stuffed Shrek sitting in the backseat. Wearing a seat belt.
Troubling #2: No children in the car.

Spotting several stuffed animals placed randomly throughout Madison. Like this one:

Spotting #3

Troubling: The 30 seconds I spent wondering if Madison had a Plushies fetish.

Some things just can't be unseen.

Middle-aged man walking down the sidewalk wearing a wife beater, white shorts and flip flops.
Troubling: He was proudly displaying a black ankle bracelet, of the house arrest variety.
Much like:

Picture found on Hotghettomess.com. A website I wish I didn't know about.

WebMD describes how older people sleep less than their younger counterparts.
Troubling #1: In the last week, I've had two sleepless nights. Not a wink. I've been 25- years- old for less than a month.
Troubling #2: Telling people about this in a blog.


Buying a plant at the farmer's market.
Troubling: The horrified look on the farmer's face after telling him I kill every plant I own.

Going on job interviews.
Troubling: Realizing all the managers bear a striking resemblance to Michael Scott.

hm... {via}

While on a coffee run, seeing a woman in her bathrobe sitting on her front porch.
Troubling: She was sitting spread eagle, and unfortunately, not wearing a stitch.

All of these incidents happened in one week.
Troubling: Realizing it's the same every week of my life.