Oh you know, I just work for the state now. I've entered a whole new world of cubicles and paper shuffling, 401k's and health insurance. With a full time job you learn so many different things. Things I never new existed, like dismemberment insurance is very real and the most graphic of all the insurances. Oh yeah, and I wear slacks now.

I've been a little out of the loop for awhile. So here are all the important thoughts, realizations and events that have happened in the last few weeks:

Working in an office is awkward. Not funny- awkward like The Office or Office Space, just awkward.

When is it a good time to get everyone offensive coffee mugs? {via}

"I'm going to get in the best shape of my life!" then realizing you said that last summer. And it's on your blog for everyone to see.

I maybe a year older and leaping my way toward thirty, but my skin is holding on to my prepubescent years one horrible blemish at a time.

The hardest thing I've ever done: trying to stop eating so poorly. They should really have a twelve step program for cupcake and vanilla latte addicts.

Sometimes rock bottom is a face full of cream puff in a secluded parking lot. {via}

At what age do you become an Old Maid? And the term "Ape leader" is offensive.

The future? Could be worse... {via}

Paid holidays off are a real thing.

Driving slowly past a store to check out a party dress in the window. Realizing too late that the short, middle-aged, grinning man on the sidewalk thinks you slowed down to check him out.

I have an announcement. And it's kind of a big deal, so prepare yourself.

In the next month, I will no longer be living below the poverty line. That's right, I will be introduced to the luxuries of the lower middle class.

Can I borrow that top? {via}

Now instead of crunching the numbers before every purchase, I can put the saying, "Keepin' up with the Joneses" to a very minimal use. Generic brand? HA! Actually, I'll still need to buy the generic brand. It's not like I found a money tree. But now when it says buy three and save, I can buy three and save. (You know, instead of just buying one because that's all I could afford even though it would make more sense and save you more money in the long run to buy all three (breath)... You know.)

I might have to start listening to the Boss so I don't lose touch.

An article, from a reputable source (wikipedia), stated most Americans between the ages of 25-75 spend at least one year living below the poverty line.

The Poverty Line. It has a face. Eerily similar to Angela Lansbury {via}

I spent ten months below the poverty line, but I'm getting out early. Precocious? No. It means I have AT LEAST another two months in the next fifty years to get real poor again.

Looking forward to it.

But to my current and soon to be past place of employment, it's been real. We've had some good times.
Don't wear your hair that way.